One thing I love about this article is the last point about being to teach kids to adapt to change. I find that to be a survival skill almost in a world that is so fast-paced and continuously changing as the author states. In my own experience, I had to adapt to drastic changes my whole life. First, with my parents divorcing, my mom and I literally moved around our entire lives. I went through numerous schools and friends. Then when my dad took me to live with him overseas where no one spoke English, and I was away from my mother for years at a time. And various other cases throughout my life....and I am thankful for those moments. I truly believe that we need to change or shake things up abit for our children to learn this essential skill.
9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Kids in today’s school system are not being prepared well for tomorrow’s world.
As someone who went from the corporate world and then the government world to the ever-changing online world, I know how the world of yesterday is rapidly becoming irrelevant. I was trained in the newspaper industry, where we all believed we would be relevant forever — and I now believe will go the way of the horse and buggy.
Unfortunately, I was educated in a school system that believed the world in which it existed would remain essentially the same, with minor changes in fashion. We were trained with a skill set that was based on what jobs were most in demand in the 1980s, not what might happen in the 2000s.
And that kinda makes sense, given that no one could really know what life would be like 20 years from now. Imagine the 1980s, when personal computers were still fairly young, when faxes were the cutting-edge communication technology, when the Internet as we now know it was only the dream of sci-fi writers like William Gibson.
We had no idea what the world had in store for us.
And here’s the thing: we still don’t. We never do. We have never been good at predicting the future, and so raising and educating our kids as if we have any idea what the future will hold is not the smartest notion.
How then to prepare our kids for a world that is unpredictable, unknown? By teaching them to adapt, to deal with change, to be prepared for anything by not preparing them for anything specific.
This requires an entirely different approach to child-rearing and education. It means leaving our old ideas at the door, and reinventing everything.
My drop-dead gorgeous wife Eva (yes, I’m a very lucky man) and I are among those already doing this. We homeschool our kids — more accurately, we unschool them. We are teaching them to learn on their own, without us handing knowledge down to them and testing them on that knowledge.
It is, admittedly, a wild frontier, and most of us who are experimenting with unschooling will admit that we don’t have all the answers, that there is no set of “best practices”. But we also know that we are learning along with our kids, and that not knowing can be a good thing — an opportunity to find out, without relying on established methods that might not be optimal.
I won’t go too far into methods here, as I find them to be less important than ideas. Once you have some interesting ideas to test, you can figure out an unlimited amount of methods, and so my dictating methods would be too restrictive.
Instead, let’s look at a good set of essential skills that I believe children should learn, that will best prepare them for any world of the future. I base these on what I have learned in three different industries, especially the world of online entreprenurship, online publishing, online living … and more importantly, what I have learned about learning and working and living in a world that will never stop changing.
1. Asking questions. What we want most for our kids, as learners, is to be able to learn on their own. To teach themselves anything. Because if they can, then we don’t need to teach them everything — whatever they need to learn in the future, they can do on their own. The first step in learning to teach yourself anything is learning to ask questions. Luckily, kids do this naturally — our hope is to simply encourage it. A great way to do this is by modeling it. When you and your child encounter something new, ask questions, and explore the possible answers with your child. When he does ask questions, reward the child instead of punishing him (you might be surprised how many adults discourage questioning).
2. Solving problems. If a child can solve problems, she can do any job. A new job might be intimidating to any of us, but really it’s just another problem to be solved. A new skill, a new environment, a new need … they’re all simply problems to be solved. Teach your child to solve problems by modeling simple problem solving, then allowing her to do some very easy ones on her own. Don’t immediately solve all your child’s problems — let her fiddle with them and try various possible solutions, and reward such efforts. Eventually, your child will develop confidence in her problem-solving abilities, and then there is nothing she can’t do.
3. Tackling projects. As an online entrepreneur, I know that my work is a series of projects, sometimes related, sometimes small and sometimes large (which are usually a group of smaller projects). I also know that there isn’t a project I can’t tackle, because I’ve done so many of them. This post is a project. Writing a book is a project. Selling the book is another project. Work on projects with your kid, letting him see how it’s done by working with you, then letting him do more and more by himself. As he gains confidence, let him tackle more on his own. Soon, his learning will just be a series of projects that he’s excited about.
4. Finding passion. What drives me is not goals, not discipline, not external motivation, not reward … but passion. When I’m so excited that I can’t stop thinking about something, I will inevitably dive into it fully committed, and most times I’ll complete the project and love doing it. Help your kid find things she’s passionate about — it’s a matter of trying a bunch of things, finding ones that excite her the most, helping her really enjoy them. Don’t discourage any interest — encourage them. Don’t suck the fun out of them either — make them rewarding.
5. Independence. Kids should be taught to increasingly stand on their own. A little at a time, of course. Slowly encourage them to do things on their own. Teach them how to do it, model it, help them do it, help less, then let them make their own mistakes. Give them confidence in themselves by letting them have a bunch of successes, and letting them solve the failures. Once they learn to be independent, they learn that they don’t need a teacher, a parent, or a boss to tell them what to do. They can manage themselves, and be free, and figure out the direction they need to take on their own.
6. Being happy on their own. Too many of us parents coddle our kids, keeping them on a leash, making them rely on our presence for happiness. When the kid grows up, he doesn’t know how to be happy. He must immediately attach to a girlfriend or friends. Failing that, they find happiness in other external things — shopping, food, video games, the Internet. But if a child learns from an early age that he can be happy by himself, playing and reading and imagining, he has one of the most valuable skills there is. Allow your kids to be alone from an early age. Give them privacy, have times (such as the evening) when parents and kids have alone time.
7. Compassion. One of the most essential skills ever. We need this to work well with others, to care for people other than ourselves, to be happy by making others happy. Modeling compassion is the key. Be compassionate to your child at all times, and to others. Show them empathy by asking how they think others might feel, and thinking aloud about how you think others might feel. Demonstrate at every opportunity how to ease the suffering of others when you’re able, how to make others happier with small kindnesses, how that can make you happier in return.
8. Tolerance. Too often we grow up in an insulated area, where people are mostly alike (at least in appearance), and when we come into contact with people who are different, it can be uncomfortable, shocking, fear-inducing. Expose your kids to people of all kinds, from different races to different sexuality to different mental conditions. Show them that not only is it OK to be different, but that differences should be celebrated, and that variety is what makes life so beautiful.
9. Dealing with change. I believe this will be one of the most essential skills as our kids grow up, as the world is always changing and being able to accept the change, to deal with the change, to navigate the flow of change, will be a competitive advantage. This is a skill I’m still learning myself, but I find that it helps me tremendously, especially compared to those who resist and fear change, who set goals and plans and try to rigidly adhere to them as I adapt to the changing landscape. Rigidity is less helpful in a changing environment than flexibility, fluidity, flow. Again, modeling this skill for your child at every opportunity is important, and showing them that changes are OK, that you can adapt, that you can embrace new opportunities that weren’t there before, should be a priority. Life is an adventure, and things will go wrong, turn out differently than you expected, and break whatever plans you made — and that’s part of the excitement of it all.
We can’t give our children a set of data to learn, a career to prepare for, when we don’t know what the future will bring. But we can prepare them to adapt to anything, to learn anything, to solve anything, and in about 20 years, to thank us for it.
POSTED: 02.14.2012
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Let's face it, we all have them, and if you are a stay-at-home and/or a homeschooling mom you may have more of these days than most people. This morning was one of those mornings where I just did not want to get out of bed. I was so tired and I had decided the night before that I would keep my daughter home from school. But once morning came, my daughter was disappointed, being that she is in love with her school, and so I decided to take her...late...but felt it would be worth having one less cranky child in the house even if it is just for a few hours. 
With that being said, I was eager to ease my son and really wanted to take him out for a walk and kept making excuses...it's too cold, I'm too tired, it's almost his nap time, etc. But the crying didn't cease, so I sucked it up threw on my coat and his, bundled him and myself up nice and warm and ventured out into the cold morning to walk down to the park for the 30 mins or so we had before his nap time. Instantly, as I knew he would, he stopped crying. We strolled to the park, which is very woodsy in nature, and I set him loose. He ran through the grass and trees and straight for the swings, then the slides, then just ran up and down the small hills and big piles of leaves, laughing along the way as I chased him and sometimes he would just lay flat on the ground and stare up at the sky. In the end, he became tired and went back to climb into his stroller. I purposely took the long way back home so that I could get in some physical exercise for myself. Just being out doors was healing for the both of us, even if it was only for 30 or 40 mins. So the moral of my story is this: When in doubt, Get Out! 
There is something about walking in the woods that is so alluring, and haunting at the same time. I believe it is that sense of mystery that the forest holds, and a fear of the unknown; of what could be lurking behind the trees far beyond sight, or what could be lying under that old fallen tree limb, or inside a rotted tree stump. Forests are usually eerily dark in Luxembourg, except for rays of light that shine down through holes in the trees. And then there is the silence, and the stillness of the woods, which is ironic because the woods are anything but still. Leaves rustle, branches crack, winds whisper, insects hum, buzz, and scratch. Animals scurry, and the birds soar through the intricate maze of sky. Spotting a simple mushroom can lead to endless questions and hours of observation and wonder. The aroma of the forests are so thick and rich, I find myself inhaling and exhaling like I have never done before just to try and capture and identify every complex scent . The woods are captivating and beautiful and provide a limitless selection of learning opportunities. It is here where one can feel most close to Allah (swt) our Creator.
Over the past few weeks I have begun to incorporate Forest Walks into our weekly activities. Luxembourg is rich with trails, forests, ponds, parks, and paths through woodsy areas of all sorts. People here are generally very outdoorsy and really love horseback riding, biking, and hiking, so it is not uncommon to walk through a forest on a Sunday afternoon and pass by people riding their horses leisurely through the woods. The first time I mentioned a forest walk, my daughter was terrified and said, "No Mama! I don't want to walk in the forest, it's scary!" She had never been through any kind of wood, her only knowledge of the forest consisted of late bedtime story versions of Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood, characters, all of whom, encounter danger and near death experiences in the Forest. But upon walking through a small passageway, just over a bridge in Esch sur Sure, we came upon a path leading into the woods. My daughters breath almost stopped for a moment as she tried to take it all in. After looking around in wonder and awe, she instantly began to run down the path exploring leaves, trees, bushes and insects traveling along through trodden path. 
The longer we venture down our homeschooling journey, the more drawn we have become toward the study of nature and the wilderness. I feel as though it is a neglected field of study, and is not given much thought or importance. I cannot simply walk up to a tree and be able to identify it as a Pine or Oak, which is quite sad. I have never studied the seasons up close observing their temperatures and processes, the simple joys and pleasures of this world I have been taking for granted. I want my kids to be able to study birds, insects, and animals and be able to identify the wild flowers growing in our garden in a very real and personal way. These are the fundamental basics of nature study that I feel every child should learn or at least be exposed to, as well as myself. It would be a learning experience for the whole family if we perhaps kept nature journals as we do writing journals. For now however, I will begin this new journey with the simple explorations of the woods and see where it leads us.
Gardening is something I have always wanted to do, but never really had the time to do before, or at least do well, but nothing like a move across the country away from all your loved ones and social obligations to free your days right up! No, but honestly, now that my daughter's school day ends at noon, I can spend a lot more time taking up new hobbies. The garden initially was a mess and was a project in itself just to get clean and ready for planting, but the process has been amazingly rewarding for all of us. Ameera and I decided we would create a space for planting flowers as well as fruits and vegetables. We already had a raspberry and blackberry bush that was fully mature and my 18 month old thoroughly enjoyed picking all the berries off the bush and stuffing his face with them. Although it is October, there are still plenty of winter vegetables that can be planted for spring harvest. I also thought it would be fun just to experiment a bit with different plants to show Ameera which continued to grow, which died, or which just remained as they were in the ground and did not grow nor die. So, we bought various plants of her choice, including lettuce, strawberry plants, pepper plants and various flowers and pines to work with in her miniature garden It is the process, not the product that is most important in my book. 
Yes, this is picture of my son actually eating mud. I resisted the temptation to run and wash his mouth out and just let him get a taste and see what he did, unfortunately he just kept eating it ;) but on the plus side I found that there are many health benefits of playing with and in the mud and dirt. You can check out this link http://simplemom.net/let-your-kids-get-dirty/ to read about the 5 health benefits of getting dirty. 
Is it possible that the parenting guru my generation so desperately needs is a dude who sells used car parts out of a store in East L.A.? Can it be that George Monroy with his goatee and receding hairline—who gave his 9 year-old some cardboard boxes, a pair of scissors, a really big packing tape dispenser and said to his son “Go!”—is a child-rearing genius?
Upon reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, I thought I would share a few reflections as the book had a profound effect on me emotionally. The first being that my favorite character in the book was by far Aibileen because she was in opinion the silent hero of the novel. At times she would be treated with such disrespect by Mrs. Leefolt and Hilly, yet she always remained quiet and did her job with little complaint. At first this passive quality bothered me about her and I wasn't able to fully appreciate it until the end of the novel, where I expected her to finally stand up to Hilly, but instead she remained graceful and dignified, which was most heart-breaking. Although the main characters all make out in the end with hopes of a fresh start as well as Aibileen, I couldn't help but feel a deep sadness for her at the loss of her beloved "children." Her walking down that road brought tears to my eyes because in a way I did feel as though she had been defeated, even though she had gained so much. 
It has been a hectic couple of months since about a month ago my husband was offered a position to work abroad in Europe beginning July. While we were thrilled, (we had been working on this move for a few years), it kind of threw me for a loop with regards to homeschooling. Ever since I decided to homeschool in early October I have been preparing myself for doing just that....In New Jersey of course....and now everything seems to be so much more complicated. I feel as though I have to start from scratch. 
The schooling system in Luxembourg differes from the U.S. greatly. Firstly, local children do not begin any formal schooling until the age of 6yrs. And these schools primary focus is on languages with less time dedicated to other academic subjects. However, if you are not a citizen then local schools can be somewhat challenging to get into. On the other hand, there are two international schools that are English speaking and use the British Curriculum, these schools take children from 3yrs old and only offer language as an elective. Then there are the European International schools that accomodate French speaking children, and finally there is one Montessori school (english speaking) and one Waldorf school (German speaking). All these schools I found doing research on the internet, but I will know much more once my husband and I fly down for our 1 week orientation. My major concerns are meeting other moms and children and being able to communicate with them, which is why I thought it might be best to place her in a school for the first year as way to meet people and integrate ourselves quickly. One thing I love about the school systems is that every month or so all the schools have 1 week off, not including major holidays and 4 day weekends. This leaves plenty of opportunity for travel which was another concern of mine. I didnt want to have to worry about pulling her out of school everytime I wanted to travel. And if I placed her in a French speaking school the first year then she would surely have a handle on the language and be able to communicate well with the locals and children if I decide to keep her home the following year.
