How Children Fail

I just finished the book How Children Fail by John Holt and I cant begin to describe the vast amount of wisdom that is held within its 176 pages. Holt wrote this book based on the observations he made of students in a journal in how they were learning or failing to learn. He believes that school is a prison in which children are coerced to learn things that is unimportant to them and does not make sense to them. Therefore they do not retain any of the information they are given. As a teacher he believes that the education system thrives on a system of right answers and that right answers are the only ones that matter. Teachers give tests, and give reviews to tests telling children exactly what they should know on the test so that when test time comes children will only appear to have learned what they were taught.

What I would like to do here is to share some of his quotes that I felt were really meaningful and made me think very deeply about what it means to educate children.

"Our learning is not real, not complete, not accurate, above all not useful, unless we take these word strings and somehow convert them in our minds into a likeness of the world, a working mental model of the universe as we know it. Only when we have such a model, and when there is at least a rough correspondence between that model and reality, can it be said of us that we have learned something."

I have seen with own eyes, as a teacher in the classroom and as a parent,  how disconnected learning can be from the real world. Like when I am trying to teach Ameera a math concept such as multiplication but I don't provide an example in a real world setting it goes completely unabsorbed. Had we come to a situation in which the concept arose naturally she would then, out of curiousty ask me about it and then we would learn it together to get the answer, thereby really learing and absorbing the material.

"Children--get into the habit of waiting for teachers to show them how to do everything, so that they may continue a process of blind imitation--. They do not expect to figure out from mere words what it is that one wants them to do. Nor can they distinguish between goal and the route needed  to get there, the job to be done, and the method needed to do it. If someone gives them a problem, they either know or don't know how to do it, the problem itself is meaningless to them. And this is the great danger of asking children to manipulate symbols whose concrete meaning they do not understand. After a while they come to feel--that all symbols are meaningless. Our teaching is too full of words , and they come to soon."

"With enough time, it might be possible to go back to the beginning and rebuild [a] child's intelligence. But this could not be done unless the outside world left her alone while she was learning to make sense of things, and did not try to make her appear to know and di not try to make her feel foolish  or ashamed  for knowing so little"

"When children are doing concrete operations --doing things that they feel are sensible, getting ansers by themselves , answers they can be sure are right, there is much to be said for letting them use a cumbersome method until they feel thoroughly secure in it, before suggesting the possibility that there may be an easier way"

"We ask children to do for most of the day what few adults are able to do for even an hour. How many of us attending say a lecture that doesn't interest us, can keep our minds from wandering? Yet children have far less awareness of their control of their attention than we do. [...] A child is most intelligent when the reality before him arouses in him a high degree  of attention, interest, concentration, involvement-in short, when he cares most about what he is doing."

Children have a natural tendency to want to seek out answers to things they don't know or understand.  The message being relayed here is that we just have to put trust in our children to let them learn they way they know how. The only way I see being able to do that is to relinquish control and become more of an observer and advisor or a guide.

Diary of a New Runner

I recently started running, and by recently I mean I just completed my 6th run today, which completes my second week of running 3 times per week. This is a pretty big deal for me for 3 reasons. The first being I hate running, second, when you are homeschooling 3 kids there is little time to enjoy a leisure run 3 times a week, and lastly running is physically exhausting (for me). That being said, another of my goals for this year was to lead a healthier and more active lifestyle, and specifically to work out no less than 3 times a week. Over the past 6 years I have worked out on and off but never committed to routine for longer than 2 months. That was the point I would usually get back into decent shape and say, "ok, I look pretty good, I'll stop now! OOhhh, I think I will treat myself to some strawberry cheesecake Hagen Daz ice cream to celebrate my success!" Yeah Ummmm looking good doesn't really last with that thought process. Consistency is the key obviously but oh so hard. Let's be realistic we moms are sooooooo tired! My relative who was staying with us, who is also an endurance athlete, would tell me to "MAN UP!" So that's what I am trying to do. To be completely honest I have no idea if this new routine will stick, or how long it will last, but for some reason there is something that has kept me going until now. I cant quite put my finger on it. Perhaps this will be just another attempt at a hobby that I cannot maintain. (I hear the baby crying.....her nap lasted all of 10mins.....be right back.) Ok, I'm back. So what I want to do now is just discuss overall how I have felt the last two weeks running.

The first week I started by running 1 mile 3 times. 1 mile was the goal but I ended up running more like 1.4 miles each time mainly because I hadn't mapped any routes I would just record my run using an IPhone App and then check in to see how far I had gone. The first run was pretty hard because I was panting and out of breath. I consciously tried to control my breathing and run at a pace that I was comfortable with. I remembered one of my drill sergeants in the army saying that it was good for a runner to chew gum to control breathing, so I would just pretend like I was chewing gum. Oh yeah this is usually the point where people say, "WHAT YOU WERE IN THE ARMY?!" And I answer, "Yes, I enlisted in the army when I was 17, an impulsive move.....long story."  Perhaps I will share the story another time. Another piece of breathing advice my female drill sergeant would give us is to breathe twice through your nose and once out the mouth. Its funny I never ever used those techniques while I was in boot camp( I was terrible at running then), but I am conjuring up all these old memories now.  Whoooooa, baby just had a poop explosion in her Bumbo, excuse me be back in a jiff....knock at the door, family is home. Ok, now I'm back to writing, where was I? Ah yes, so my second run was better, I was still feeling a bit sore from my first run and still panting, but it was better.

After the first week I decided I was ready for a longer run and decided to run the 2.6 mile loop that my brother-in-law had discovered on his runs around my compound. On my first try I did it at night and with no problems, I definitely felt tired by the second mile but just had to slow down my pace a bit, but was able to continue without stopping. It was a HUGE accomplishment for me and I felt pretty great about it, I had become better at controlling my breathing and my pace and was able to keep it consistent throughout. My second time doing that loop was harder, I did it in the morning without eating and had a sinus cold. I was parched and tired but still managed to push through without stopping. Today was my final run of week 2 and I was able to run 2.7 miles pushing my 5month old in the jogging stroller. It was another morning run, but this time I had a half cup of coffee and a piece of wheat toast with cream cheese (fuel).  I'm not fond of running with kids because it adds extra exertion and makes me go a bit slower (excuses, excuses), but as homeschooler, my kids are the reality of daily life. As you can see that's me writing with little Aleena next to me in her Bumbo. They will always be with me. And if this is something I am serious about continuing, then I have to at least try to include them. I definitely wouldn't be the first to do this. The tricky part will be when I attempt a run with all three kids.  I will save that experience for another post.

Accomplishments

After almost 2.5 years of worrying about Ameera's progress with reading, at almost age 7 now I can say she is finally picking up books on her own and reading from cover to cover. I had started teaching her to read at 4 years old. We had some success in the early stages but as we continued she became bored and very anxious and unsettled and I frustrated. I decided then instead of being a momster to shelve our reading lessons till a later time when she seemed more ready and willing. Over the course of 2 years I would bring out the reading book again and get through some lessons here and there but it wasn't until she turned 6 that we began to make it more routine or daily. Everyday I would sit with her and spend about 10 minutes or so on a lesson and she would be done and she did it without objection, a sign that she was ready for learning to read. After just a few short months we got through the remaining lessons in her 100 lesson book! It was a big day for us when she finished the book. And we both felt a big sense of accomplishment. I had watched her grow and learn something that I had taught her. It was a great feeling. And she felt proud as well, now she feels joy at going to the library and picking books that interest her, its a whole new world in a sense for her and for me to be able to observe and learn about what fancies her to read, when for 6 years I had been choosing her books mainly. She is reading at night during story time, in the car, and almost everywhere and its a joy to watch. She hasn't yet turned 7, but will in January. What I learned from this experience again is that when a child is ready to reach a milestone, they will do so on their own good time and do it willingly without struggle and force. This has definitely been a learning experience for both of us as we continue to shift and change our dynamics of teaching and learning.

Funny Girls Rock

One of my 2015 goals was to start blogging more consistently, so here I go I'm just gonna start blogging hoping some useful shit comes out of my mouth. Did I just say "shit?" Oops. Moving on. So I recently discovered that I love funny girls Why? Because funny girls are just cool that's why, they bring laughter into the world. I have some pretty awesome friends who no matter what comes out of their, its just freakin funny. I mean, they aren't even trying to be! And then another realization, "I'm totally freakin boring? Or at least that's how I make myself appear to be. I mean really, "Reflections of a Muslim American Educator!" You can't get much more boring than that title. I've been meaning to change it for months now but because I am so technologically crippled, I can't even do that... Sad I know. But I just keep asking myself, "Why do I project myself to be so serious all the time?"

I mean, I am a 32 year old homeschooling mom of 3, I should be anything but serious and boring. Another thing I can't understand is why I can never find anything to write about. I always feel like I just have nothing interesting to say. But my life is pretty darn cool, not to be pretentious or anything but I'm a homeschooler, a world traveler, I even started running. Yes, you heard right, I run...for fun! Ok actually it's just to get fit. 5 runs now, doesn't that qualify me as an athlete or something? No? Ok, well, moving on. I believe I am an overall pretty decent person. I should have loads of wisdom and knowledge to share with the world. Right? Yet, I struggle day in and out to find anything meaningful happening in my days. Actually, my days are very full and meaningful for my family and I, but I never think they will be meaningful for the rest of the world. So, in an effort to be less serious and less boring to my social media audience I plan to become a funny girl! Great. So.......... What do I do now? Is there like a class or something I can take?

Goal Planning and Unschooling

It's been about 8 months now since our homeschool journey began. And with the holiday break came a lot of time for reflections. I sat back and questioned myself numerous times as to whether or not my methods were actually benefiting the kids. More often than not our Quran and math sessions would begin or end in tears. I wondered, "What am I doing different than a teacher would be doing at school?" Wasn't homeschooling supposed to be about the kids loving to learn instead of being forced to learn? I decided to take a step back and give myself and the kids a break. I had some family visiting during the holiday and one member told me that I should sit down and think about what I had accomplished last year and list them, and then think about what I would like to accomplish next year and list them. I did just that. And wow! It did seem like I accomplished a lot the previous year, but the upcoming year looked worrisome. How would I accomplish all these goals? The next step, my brother-in-law told me, was to create a document with the families goals listed next to each other (including my children's goals) and try to find commonalities and themes, and then create synergies, or win, win, wins. You can check out an example of this here:
http://www.ahmadfahmy.com/blog/2014/12/26/tripplewins

This goal planning tactic was very useful in helping me to see not only what my own goals were, but what was important to my husband and daughter. By looking at Ameera's goal I clearly understood that my ideas and plans for her were not at all what she planned for herself. This led me to the conclusion that our homeschooling would become more Unschooly in nature as we shift to Project Based Learning. I went from structured learning to a much more laid back style approach over the course of 8 months. I find myself thinking a lot about deschooling myself, which basically means that because I went to school, I still very much have a predisposed way of thinking about education and learning. I want to free myself of this thinking and recondition myself to let my children lead me, but it is an incredibly hard and scary thing to do. Keeping goals and setting a plan has helped clear my mind and made me feel more confident in what I want and need to do. I am going to start with cutting way back on any structured type of setting and spending more time observing my kids and listening to them. I believe taking notes will be key in this unschooling process as will creating a special space for my kids to conduct their projects in. This is one of my main goals for this year.

Discoveries

I'm learning in homeschooling that I am making my kids do what I think they should be doing or what I think will benefit them in life. But I am not asking if this is what they want. Mainly bc I believe they don't know what they want or need because they are children. But why is that? My kids are very capable of knowing what they need and want to learn.

I noticed the other day Ameera and I were working on multiplication when I asked her to think about the answer to a problem we were working on and she started to cry. I was really shocked as she had given no hint beforehand to any struggles. When I asked her why she was crying she stated fearfully that "it's hard." I told her that it wasn't hard and that she had to think about it a little. Recently, she had taken to guessing a lot during our math lessons.

Her guessing game started to increase even when working on the simplest of problems. What was happening was that because she wasn't enjoying herself, she was no longer thinking about what she was doing, therefore she was no longer learning. She was just interested in getting the "right" answer so we could move on and be done with it. And if she couldn't produce the right answer then she knew I would eventually give it to her. The lessons became simply a drag. Something she had to do because I was telling her she had to do it.

What I hadn't stopped to consider was if she was ready for this next step in math and was it even necessary for a 7 year old to know how to multiply yet? The only reason I was doing it with her was because it was the next chapter in our math book. I was moving through the motions and checking off the boxes of "ok that's done, now what's next?" Perhaps if I had waited for the subject to be introduced more naturally, like in a real world situation, it might not have been such a painful experience, but one that sparked interest. 

I realized that the way we are learning was not her style of learning. She is simply not a text and workbook type learner. She is more of an auditory learner . By continuing to observe my kids I am able to make adjustments as needed in our learning practices at home which is essential if we are to continue on this path. 

As the parent I have to let go of my expectations of what learning should look like or be like. I have to deschool myself first in order to really let change set in the household. 

Tips for Homeschooling with an Infant

Our third child was born on August 17th by the grace of God. Luckily, I had begun our homeschooling year in the summer to ensure that I would have organized a schedule and activities so that we could just continue after taking maternity break. This plan worked out extremely well. After I had the baby I was able to take ample time off from schooling and once I was able and ready we got right back into somewhat of a routine. Although we don't manage to get through all our daily lessons every time I have come up with several tips to make this transition a bit easier for all of us.

1. When you know you will be busy with the baby, pull out some independent work for your child to complete.
This has worked really well for us in getting things done. Ameera who is now 6.5 is able to complete math worksheets, handwriting, foreign language, phonics and reading lessons on her own. That is a huge chunk of work. She also does Quran everyday via Skype with a tutor.

2. Use nap times to complete work that needs your attention and assistance.
When my baby is napping I will also usually put my toddler down at the same time for a nap. This gives me a good 1.5 hours to sit with my daughter and complete our history, science and literature lessons which are all done through read a-louds. We can also work on projects during this time.

3. Use weekends to catch up with school work.
The great thing about homeschooling is that everyday can be a weekend. This way I can utilize the weekends when my husband is home and I have some help to catch up on any subjects that have been neglected. This brings me to my next tip.

4. When possible have your spouse help with schooling.
If your spouse is good at something that you are not particularly strong in, have him help out in that subject over the weekend. For example, I am not strong in teaching math concepts, but my husband is so I will usually give him the task of explaining and teaching concepts to her that I am unable to do or do well.

5. Realize that every moment can be a teachable moment.
I will usually let my daughter prepare lunch for herself and her younger brother. Then she can clean up after herself by putting dishes in the sink. She is also able to change a diaper and quiet the baby by keeping her company. She can fold laundry, and perform loads of other household chores. This helps in character and confidence building and teaches her responsibility in the house and toward her siblings. She is also responsible for watching over her brother when they play in the garden and park.

6. No matter what make sure bedtimes are always consistent. (Same goes for naps)
Consistent bed times means energetic and fresh, focused children who are capable of very full days. Less tantrums and crankiness also come from well rested children. This also gives me time I need to recharge and have some much needed alone time. I can also do any planning I need for the following days.

7. Keep your schedule relatively free.
With a baby it is not a good idea to pack in so many activities or field trips through out the weeks. Pick one or two activities that you can manage to do consistently every week. Infants in their first few months thrive on routine and prefer being home to being shuffled along from one activity to the next and are more likely to have crying fits. At the moment Ameeras schedule includes 2 weekly activities, 1 biweekly activity and 2 monthly activities that require me to leave the house. I also sign up for filed trips that I feel are really beneficial and will be pleasant and easy for baby. Remember that educational field trips and activities can take the place of a days lesson. For example, a trip to the museum can be the days history lesson.

Our Preschool Curriculum

We have been living in Luxembourg now for over a month and have finally managed to find a home, although, we have another few weeks before we can move in. Living out of the extended stay hotel has become increasingly difficult, but has given me time to think about how I would like to go about homeschooling this year. As mentioned in previous posts, Ameera will still be attending the Waldorf school here where she will be, on a daily basis, engaging in free, unstructured play in addition to cooking, spending lots of time in the forests, tending to and caring for animals, and learning French and German. The school day ends at 1pm, so I have decided to homeschool her in the following subjects: Arabic, Quran, Islamic Studies, and English reading and Writing. After reviewing some of the veteran homeschooling Muslim mom blogs, and getting various recommendations from friends and family we will be using the following resources:

1. Ad-Duha Institute (ALP)
http://www.ad-duha.org/html/alp__recommended_for_prek_.html

2. Kinza Academy preschool reading list
    http://www.kinzaacademy.com/

3. Goodnight stories from the Life of the Prophet Muhammad ( seerah & Hadith)

4. Arabicfirst.co.uk ( intro to Arabic letters & numbers & vocab flash cards)

5. Teach your child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons ( reading & writing)

6. TCRWP Writing and Reading Workshop

    http://tc.readingandwritingproject.com/

As a new homeschooler, I still do not have everything figured out, but I feel this is a great place to start. The Ad-Duha program, recommended to me by sister-in law, seems to be the best option for me only because it is comprehensive . There are many other wonderful books to be used, but I need more guidance as I am not that strong in the Arabic language. I hope to utilize the program to learn with my daughter. I am also considering purchasing the mini mu'min program for my son if I find I really like it. Otherwise, my son who is now 15 months old, I will be doing various Montessori activities with him. I have already begun various activities with my daughter which I plan to post little by little along with a reading list of our favorite books.

As of now I still do not have access to a computer, and am blogging on my iPad, which I personally find very difficult. But inshallah I should be in full swing by October.